They're looking for "kid friendly" so you might wanna take "hell" outa there. d: But with kids these days, who knows. x)
And even though you only used it twice, use of the work "back" sounds repetitive. Maybe for the second line, try something like, "Now they have to figure out how to bring her friends along as well..."
Hey girls! I really appreciate all your comments and suggestions. I'll work on the text. Hey Chelsea, the O.S were the two first letters than came to my mind, so feel free to put the meaning you please..jeje. The plot is a high-school big guy who buys a bass without knowing that is cursed. The first night he played it the notes fly through the air until a neraby grave yard and woke up the former owner of the bass: I girl who was killed with all her band in an unknown accident. Now, she's a zombie who will have to deal with day to day high-school life trying to don't be discover, meanwhile the big guy and his friends help her to fight against the dark forces that caused the accident.
BTW why everything in North America has to be so politically correct? I love Hell...I hell you, you hell me, everybody hells each other.... Hell is in the bible, it is a word that come from Jesus itself...Well...I guess I'll have to change it. Thanks Leeness for your suggestion, Do you have any other word in your mind?
don't really get the plot, Juan.
ReplyDeleteAlso I think the girl is supposed to be the main focus? My eyes are constantly drawn to the guy with his arm in the air in the upper coner there..
They're looking for "kid friendly" so you might wanna take "hell" outa there. d: But with kids these days, who knows. x)
ReplyDeleteAnd even though you only used it twice, use of the work "back" sounds repetitive. Maybe for the second line, try something like, "Now they have to figure out how to bring her friends along as well..."
What does OS stand for? d:
I'd agree with taking "hell" out and substituting for something like "underworld".
ReplyDeleteTHINK OF THE KIDS.
Hey girls! I really appreciate all your comments and suggestions. I'll work on the text. Hey Chelsea, the O.S were the two first letters than came to my mind, so feel free to put the meaning you please..jeje.
ReplyDeleteThe plot is a high-school big guy who buys a bass without knowing that is cursed. The first night he played it the notes fly through the air until a neraby grave yard and woke up the former owner of the bass: I girl who was killed with all her band in an unknown accident. Now, she's a zombie who will have to deal with day to day high-school life trying to don't be discover, meanwhile the big guy and his friends help her to fight against the dark forces that caused the accident.
BTW why everything in North America has to be so politically correct? I love Hell...I hell you, you hell me, everybody hells each other.... Hell is in the bible, it is a word that come from Jesus itself...Well...I guess I'll have to change it. Thanks Leeness for your suggestion, Do you have any other word in your mind?
God bless you all fellas!